At the intersection of Theater and Life

My latest theatrical project has me living at the intersection of theater and social work.  Pregones Theater, whom I am incredibly grateful to, is launching an Anti-Violence Theater Marathon by premiering Inside Out, an interactive forum theater play that raises awareness about violence and bullying against LGBT teens, and makes us think critically about the safe haven we create or destroy for each other. 

I recently read an Elie Wiesel quote: “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation.  We must always take sides.  Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”  I realized that in avoiding confrontation and possible retaliation I have been neutral and silent for way too long.  In trying to see all possible sides of a situation, my inaction has been empowering the oppressor, prolonging and validating behaviors that keep social progress stagnant. Now, using theater, the medium that I love and have been working through for so long, I have the chance to stand up to educate others on how to prevent bullying by identifying precursors to violence.

Some bullies are obvious. They’re abrasive, domineering, brash, threatening and loud. Others use comedy and charm to win over the general population while making disparaging remarks (in the form of jokes) that eventually create a group bias against someone that is obviously different than the rest.  Sometimes it’s tough because the one making the jokes is your friend and on a daily basis you see all the good qualities that he or she has and from your perspective there is nothing wrong with what they say cause ‘that’s just their sense of humor and didn’t mean anything by it.’ In reality, by not calling your friend out, you are being neutral and encouraging the tormentor.  Sometimes these people just need to hear how big of an idiot they sound like with the things that they say.

I’m glad that using theater I now get the chance to expose kids to the arts and to make them think critically about the way we relate to one another. 

Here’s a couple of random thoughts and facts:

• Some school principals and teachers are still hesitant to deal with the subject of violence against LGBT teens.  It’s ridiculous that with the amount of suicides that have been recorded in the recent past, there would still be such a resistance on behalf of adults to talk about this.
• Physical abuse is not the beginning of domestic violence.  Men get physical with women when the verbal and emotional abuse has reached its climax and the women make a move to leave.
• In promoting that marriages don’t break up, churches are not only of little help in DV cases, but they often recommend the victim stays in potentially harmful situations and submits to her husband. (Jesus is not proud of this!)
• HIV infection rates among Black and Latino gay teens are as high as they were in the 80’s. YIKES!!
• DADT was the epitome of silence empowering the oppressor.  Instead of calling out the victimizers, the government made the victims shut up.
• Senior citizens are victims of violence and abuse on behalf of their own families and are often ignored about it.
• The reason gay marriage passed in New York and is being advocated for is not only a social nor a moral issue but a legal one, and protects some heterosexual couples as well.  Family Court protects only those that are married by law and intervene in any case where abuse is reported. Anyone who is not married by law, though, has to report their cases of domestic or partner abuse in Criminal Court, which means that they have to wait until a crime is committed to get judicial protection.  IN other words, unless you are physically harmed, even though you’ve been in danger for a long time, the system can’t protect you.  If we are indeed as a nation setting out to “establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity” then we need to ensure that all citizens are protected.

Anyway, this blog entry is a bit soap-boxy and I don’t care.  I’m glad I get to use the passion of music and drama to provide options to create a better world for others.  At times I have questioned what it is that I stand for and why it is that I do it all for.  Well, now you know.  Commercial and intellectual art is great and I really enjoy it…I enjoy even more that it allows me to do art that changes and touches lives.

This is Tony…and that’s what’s going on!

Theatre kids love a little harder- Babes in Arms

Well, it's about an hour before the call for final dress rehearsal of 'Babes in Arms' at Stagedoor. Everything that had to be taught has been taught. Everything that had to be rehearsed has been rehearsed. Everything that had to be polished has been polished. For the next hour or so there is nothing I can do except reflect on this process, pray that everything works out the way it's supposed to, and enjoy all the fluttery palpitations of emotions in my heart.

There's a time warp at Stagedoor Manor. The full experience is three weeks, but there's really about ten days to put up a show; two rehearsals a day, three during production week. It seems, though, as if we've been at this for months. The 'form, storm, and norm' group dynamics happen within hours, almost minutes of each other. In very little time I've gotten to know and love these kids and a lot.

I've directed and choreographed them through every moment on stage hopefully making the rehearsal process a productive, fun, and memorable one. Now the baton has shifted from my hands to the stage manager's and its time to wait, and let them do their job. There's a mix of nervousness, anxiety, excitement and hopefulness swimming in my chest. Like a proud papa and teacher, I'm eagerly waiting to see them shine on the stage.

All kids are special, but theatre kids are one of a kind. They love a little harder, feel a little stronger, and give a little more. As a director, I'm just a grown up theatre kid and I hope that love shines through during dress rehearsal and performance weekend.

Until I return from camp,
This is Tony...and Theatre camp is what's going on.

A 10-Year Old Kid Who Feels Old!

A 10-year old with a face full of fret comes up to me at the end of rehearsal this morning and says,

Kid: "Tony, I feel old!"

Tony: "You feel old? Sweetie how old are you?"

K: (sigh) "Ten."

T: "You feel old at ten? How old would you want to be?"

K: "I'd like to be a baby. Cause they get loved all the time and have nothing to worry about."


What in the world?!?! How is a child, at 10, so preoccupied with life and love that she feels like an old person? What is going on in that young mind and heart that is bringing this girl down? I personally don't want to be there if she ever receives a rejection letter from her dream college. What kind of pressure is building in this child's life?

This camp is supposed to "a positive theatrical experience for every camper". And Lord knows I'm doing my share, but when a kid comes in with baggage like this, there is little one can do to get her out of the hole. I wish you well little one! And as I told her I tell you: There is no need to worry. The best thing God created was one day after another. Always try your hardest and give it your best, and the rest will take care of yourself, but worrying...that will take you nowhere!

StageDoor Manor; Gino Chaviano; Liesl Collazo

This past weekend was the Performance Weekend for Session 1 at StageDoor, a premiere performing arts training camp in the Catskills. I'm directing and choreographing a show for their second session and my dear students Gino and Liesl were in one of the shows. Well, let me tell ya! These shows were PHENOMENAL!

Gino and Liesl were both in Spring Awakening, which was perfromed with so much heart and honesty that it was incredibly moving. Spring Awakening has a beautiful score and these kids sang it amazingly.

I've seen Gino and Liesl grow from being kids with a flair for music and dance, into the beautiful, passionate performers they are today. I was watching with their parents and felt like a parent to them myself.

The other shows I saw were equally as amazing- a 13 year old ripping apart (that's a good thing) "Home" from The Wiz in a beautiful crystal belt; an 18 year old sing with the chops of a Broadway legend in the role of Queenie in The Wild Party; and a recently turned theater buff 16 year old boy play Lt. Cioffi in Curtains with the smarm and the charm that David Hyde Pierce originally brought to the role on Broadway. Another kid was so brilliant as a clown on the edge in The Wild Party that I bet he would be offered role in a touring company in no time.

I am now set to direct a show for the next session. Because of camp policy I am not allowed to disclose what show it is until Wednesday morning when we have a big "reveal". But I am excited to work with the talent and the passion that these kids already brought to the first day of camp. And who knows, maybe in my cast I have the next Natalie Portman, Bryce Howard, Robert Downey Jr., Jon Cryer, or someone like that, since they are all StageDoor alumni.

Till next time,

This is Tony...and StageDoor's what's going on.

Free Ice Cream

My Favorite Ghetto Girl's Son

Oh New York City! How I love thee!

Everyone knows I love a New York City-bred ethnic girl. Preferably a particular type of Latina (i.e. nasally, loud, and crass). Preferably very colorful (i.e. ghetto-as-hell). Preferably very hip (i.e. with some hoops the diameter of a basketball and half a bottle of gel holding those curls in place but bangs blow-dried as straight as an arrow). I love this girl, but yesterday I ran into her 8 year old son.

Three kids are walking out of the supermarket. The 8 year old was the oldest and the leader- a husky yet agile boy with cut-off sweats (which I'm obsessed with this summer) and a tank top which obviously belonged to his father, but which obviously he had been wearing to play in all day. I could only assume the other two were his siblings or cousins (you know how we latinos have 1001 cousins). There was a lanky boy of about 7 with the look of adventure in his eyes and an adorable little 5 or 6 year old girl with the cutest little "moñitos" (ponytails, but they tiny little curly ones you usually see on hair that will one day be relaxed).

As they're walking down the street with some delicious popsicles and potato chips enjoying the simplicity of their childhood summer in the city streets , the husky 8 year old turns to the adventurous wormy one and says; "You betta share that shit wid 'er or imma take it away! You best belief me." I nearly toppled over and fell. I have to give you a video:

I must say that I was impressed by this kid being so caring of the other two. Choice of words, phrasing, and delivery...not so much but the underlying message of community and sharing that this mother has instilled in this child was awesome to experience. And that's the thing about some of these women: we see them pushing strollers down the street in their tight-ass pants, speaking to these children in a way that makes you cringe, and we think they are too young to have three kids, but all in all, they have a set of values that might sometimes challenge ours; and even if the words and tones they use are not our favorite, they're saying the right thing.

Little Green Soldiers in a Pageant

When I was a little kid, of about oh 6 or 7, I used to love playing with those little green soldiers- you know the ones. Except that I've never enjoyed violence, so instead of having them fight, I would make pageant formations and parades with them.

Now settle down my gays and gay-friendlies! I didn't dress them in drag and make them win a crown, or anything of the kind. I just enjoyed switching them from straight lines into circles or feeding them in between diagonal lines into new formations. They were still soldiers but sometimes they were marching in a parade while other times they were in training and I was their commander ordering new positions.

A couple years later, when I discovered my "leadership" skills, i.e. became a bossy child, I would do this with my neighbors and cousins. I would've done the same at school but that was Mr. Garcia's territory for Spring Festivals, and the HAM (Humanities, Art, and Music) department's for our seasonal assemblies. Around that same time I started loving beauty pageants, for the glamour, sure- but these girls got to strut around a stage from formation to formation with their only intention being getting to their next spot. I LOVED IT!! They were my own little army of little green soldiers, except prettier, and in standing without a rifle, and in fierce sparkly outfits with big hair and lots of rhinestones. (Okay gays and gay-friendlies- have that one.)

Soon enough I found a place that allowed for formations and formation changes...actually that encouraged them and existed because of them...THE MUSICAL! Besides the fact that I finally understood what singers were singing (yeah, I don't understand most pop/rock singers so I make up my own version of the lyrics), they actually broke into song and dance to express their feelings and, you guessed it, formation into formation into formation. It was my own little heaven; cause in heaven angels move about in perfectly choreographed routines!

Sitting at my desk today and working through the overall movement of a choreography (formation to formation), I found myself wanting a set of little green soldiers so I could work it out. And I caught myself thinking: "gee, among all the stress and uncertainty of this career, the constant financial hiccups and the wondering how it's gonna work out, I get to do exactly what I always wanted to do."

This is Tony...and gratefulness is what's going on!

Courage. Faith. Love.

The New Harlem Rennaisance

The current post-Harlem-renaissance Harlem Rennaisance is having a big weekend. 100 years after the first renaissance redefined the cultural realities of 'Negroes' through literature and music movements, the neighborhood is now redefined for a new generation. This time it's not just black people, though, and it is certainly not through musical or written art forms.

After months of busy labor and weeks of anxious arrival of a liquor license, Harlem Tavern, SoHa's outdoor beer garden, is now open. The neighborhood has seen cafes, restaurants, and luxury buildings pop up in the past couple of years, but Harlem Tavern now shows off the variety of people in the neighborhood like mannequins in a storefront window, beer in hand and burgers in all their glory.

A local businesswoman (Ok, the gurl who gets my hair did) wondered the other day how they'd be able to keep the riff raff out. I suggested that maybe by keeping higher prices. Her response, "That don't keep the riff raff out. Riff raff always manage to have money in their pocket."
I guess that's the thing about change and embracing new people and things. You never know what you're gonna get. Throughout my life I've seen that every socio-economic class and every race has their share of riff raff.

The thing with Harlem is that in the two years I've been here, I can see the change on the faces of the people walking down the sidewalk- women of West African descent in traditional garb and matching turbans, twinks in Lady Gaga inspired outfits, preppy bankers with traditional families, young black men with sagging jeans and a dream. Now, though, with this big outdoor bar in a prominent location, you can see the change conglomerated into one street corner. It is no longer just the nice facade of a trendy new restaurant; it's a restaurant with the nice faces of a new trend.

Is this new Harlem Renaissance gonna give us the next string of artists and inspire generations of artist across the globe like the Caribbean and Western African communities that eventually settled here? Are there artists of the caliber of Fats Waller, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Langston Hughes, Louis Armstrong, and Billie Holiday emerging from this cross cultural intersection of differences? Here's to hoping.

Until then, this is Tony...and Harlem's what's going on.

Tennis Match Emotional

I'm totally team Federer! When he set the Grand Slam record last year I was as excited as I was disappointed this year when he lost early on at Wimbledon.


Ok...half of you (well 3/4...umm..99% of you) are actually surprised that my return to the blogoshere comes in the form of a sports entry but I do love me some tennis. Not as much as basketball, but I love tennis.

Anyway, my allegiances in the sport weren't too strong except when it came to disliking Novak Djokovic. There's just something about him that turns me off. It might be concentration or determination that comes off as arrogance or something. (Actors-actually everyone-please note- sometimes what we think we're projecting is not at all what the others are receiving.) I love Federer, I like Nadal, Tsonga and Murray are alright, but Djokovic I wanted to take down.

Emotional twist in the story- Winning today's match, Djokovic is guaranteed to be the number 1 player in the world come Monday morning. Win or lose the finals, he is number 1 on Monday. The pride and happiness this guy showed when he kissed the ground shook me to my core. His family jumping up in unison to celebrate tugged at my shortest heartsttrings and unwound them like a ball of yarn at a kitty's paws. (Wine with that cheese anyone?) When interviewed he acknowledged that even though it is an individual sport, a victory like this isn't possible without the support of those closest to you. He made no mention of being number 1 and just focused on the fact that he has another game to play on Sunday.

Dear Novak: Thanks for reminding me what determination and focus and passion is all about. Thanks for reminding me that it takes a village. Thanks for relighting that light and making me see past my prejudices and share an emotional experience with you.